growing up

This past Sunday evening we spent some time outside before the cold weather moved it. We were having a good time running around and playing chase as Matthew burned some fallen branches.

As we were outside, our neighbors daughter came outside with some of her friends to play. Finley saw them, and went over to the fence and started yelling for them. I could tell she wanted to go play them so badly. But the girls are 8 or 9 years old, and didn't think they would want to play with an almost 4 year. 

So as she calls for them, she realized that they weren't paying her any attention. She looked back at me and said, "Mommy, they aren't saying hi to me!" and I could see the hurt in her eyes. I told her "I'm sorry baby, maybe they can't hear you." So she turns around and even louder she starts to yell for them again. This time I noticed they could hear her, but weren't responding and in that moment my heart broke for her. All she wanted to do was be apart of their group and play with the big girls. But I also knew they were much older then her. I could tell her little heart was broken, and my heart broke for her. She asked me why they weren't saying hi back to her, and told her that they I didn't know why but it was OK and asked if she wanted to race some more. A few minutes later she said "OK, well I am going to play with Pumpkin." (The same neighbors dog). And she walks back over to the fence and started to call for their dog. She came running over and Finley started to play and pet Pumpkin. Within a few minutes the group of girls came over and started to talk to Finley. I stood back and tried to let her do this own her own. I heard them ask her name and how old she was. Then it happened. They asked her if she wanted to come play with them. She turned around and looked at me and Matthew with a bright face and asked if she could go. And before I could give an answer Matthew was lifting her over the fence and telling her to have fun and be careful. 

Then my mama bear started to come out. I wasn't really sure I wanted her to play over there with such older girls. I wasn't sure if they would be sweet to her and gentle with her. Finley tends to be sensitive, and I never know what could upset her. So I tried not to hover and be that "helicopter mom." But they were so sweet. They took her by the hand and asked if she wanted to go on the trampoline. Two of the girls helped her climb up and down, and then they just sat there slightly bouncing with her. It was one of the sweetest things I have seen in a long time and my heart was so full of love. I couldn't believe my little girl was running off without me to go play with new friends that she made on her own. 

After a little while, the mom from next door came out and we started to talk (I will caller her CL). The kids continued to run around and we could feel the temperature dropping. Finley ran over to me and said "Mommy, I want to stay!" and I was like "That's fine, you can play for a little bit longer." Then before we knew it, all the kids were inside the CL's house. She said it was fine and Finley could stay for a little while. So I went in to start dinner, and once it was ready I sent Matthew to get her. She came walking in the door with a little "make-over" done by the girls and she hasn't stopped talking about them since. This is one of the first times I have seen my baby girl start to become a big girl. And although I am excited to see her grow up, I am a little sad at the same time. 

My little girl is growing up.