30

Tomorrow I turn 30. 

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I have noticed some people see 30 coming and start freaking out. They turn around and try to run back to being 21. Not me. I see 30 coming and I am running towards it. Bring it on 30! 

I use to think that life went down hill after 21. I mean what is there to look forward to after 21? Your car insurance goes down and you can finally rent a hotel room at 25. I mean wahoo... let's celebrate! Right?

But really the best things have happened after I turned 21.

At 22 I got married.

We spent 3 wonderful years as a young married/no kids couple.

At 25 I started a relationship with Jesus and found out I was pregnant that same summer.

Just days after turning 26 I became a mama, and our lives were forever changed.

At 28 we moved to Chattanooga to help our friends with their dream to plant a church.

At 29 I went on my first mission trip, and had my heart stolen by a country and its people in the best way possible.

I became an aunt 2 times over.

We have seen some of our best friends get married and start their own families.

Life has not gone down hill, things have only gotten better after 21. 

I can't wait to see what my 30's have in store!

There is another reason I am excited about 30. It is a milestone for me.

Shortly after turning 18, I was diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Malformation type 2. 

I have had headaches my whole life. I was in and out of doctors offices most of my childhood trying to figure out why, with no results. 

The weekend of my 18th birthday I was hit with a headache so bad, it was all I could do to keep my head up. I spent the next few weeks at more doctors appointments. I had my first MRI scan and then waited for the results. In the mean time I went to prom and graduated from high school. The week after graduation I went out of town to see a childhood friend also graduate. While I was gone, my mom got the call with my MRI results. 

This is how the conversation went when my mom called me... it's amazing how some conversations will always stick with you.

Mom: I just got the call from the neurologist...

Me: and...

Mom: They found something abnormal with your scans.

Me: What do you mean abnormal?

Mom: I don't know, they wouldn't tell me.

Me: Why would they tell you?

Mom: They can't, you're and adult now. They can't legally tell me anything anymore.

Me: But I give them permission.

Mom: It doesn't work that way...

Me: Well what all did they say?

Mom: Just that there was something abnormal about your scans. I have made an appointment for when you get home.

Me: Well... I guess the upside is that it isn't a tumor. They would want to see me right away if it was...

Mom: I guess. It wouldn't have mattered anyways since you are gone. It would have to wait until you got home no matter what. (always the positive one she is...)

The Monday after I arrived home, I was back in the doctors office. This time for a diagnosis, finally. He gave me some medication to help with the headaches and suggested I see a neurosurgeon.

Truthfully, I took the prescription but figured since I had never heard of Arnold Chiari it wasn't a big deal. I was in no rush to go back to another doctor. Especially since I finally had a medication to help.

It wasn't until the next year when I needed a refill that I went back to the nuerologist. The medication wasn't working as well as it did in the beginning, and I needed it upped or changed. Again, he suggested I see the neurosurgeon. Again, I shrugged it off. 

Several months later I started to have issues. At first my hands would just let go of things. It was like I had no control over my hands. I would be holding something and my hands would spasm and I would drop whatever it was. Then my finger tips started to go numb. Then my toes and feet. Then one night while getting ready to go out with some girlfriends I had a sharp pain go down the right side of my head and my vision went dark. It didn't last long, but it was scary and I knew I could no longer avoid the neurosurgeon. I finally made an appointment and he sent me for more scans. 

Two weeks before I turned 20 I went in for the appointment with the neurosurgeon for the results and his suggestions. That morning my mom asked me if I wanted her to go with me. I told her no, I trully believed it wasn't going to be a big deal. He would tell me everything looked OK. I should keep taking my meds and come back for regular check-ups.

I was wrong.

I went to the appointment alone, and sat in the room waiting for the doctor.

He walked in, put my scans up on the back-lite board and said "You need to have surgery. I would like to schedule it for April 20th."

I don't really remember what he said after that.... the room started to spin and I could see his mouth moving but couldn't hear anything. I was trying so hard not to cry right there and all I could hear were my own thoughts.

"What about work? How long is the recovery? Do I have that much time? How am I going to pay for this? What about my sister's wedding? The 20th? That is so soon... it is only 2 days after my birthday! That ain't happenin'... oh God... What about my hair!?"

Finally, I was able to get words out.

"What if I don't want the surgery?"

This is what he told me.... again a conversation that is burned into my memory.

"If you are lucky, by the time you are 30 your spinal fluid will eat a cavity in your spinal cord and you will be paralizyed."

"And if I am not lucky?"

"The fluid will build up around your brain, your brain will swell, and you will die." (I realize now this may have been a scare tactic, but I was young and alone and unsure and it worked.)

Before I left his office we had the surgery date scheduled for the first of June. After my birthday and my sister's wedding.

I held it together until I was out of his office, but as I walked to my car I couldn't hold back the tear anymore. I sat in my car and cried. Then I got my act together and started to make phone calls to my family and Matthew (we were just dating at the time) and cried again. I cried a lot over the next few days while every processed.

A few weeks later I walked into the hospital for my brain surgery. I spent several hours in surgery, 3 days in ICU, and 2.5 days in a step down room. Five days after surgery I was going home. 

The surgery only had an 85% chance of working. I still have migraines but not as often as before the surgery. I have to take medication when ever I get one, but there is no fluid build up. I see a neurologist every 6 months. I haven't had an MRI scan in years, but I am sure I am due for one soon. There is always that chance that I will need to have another surgery. 

So you see.... for me turning 30 is kind of a big deal. 

I have no issues.

I can walk.

I can run.

I can ride my awesome new bike.

I can jump on a trampoline (which I did this past weekend).

So here is to turning 30! I can't wait to see what you have in store for me!