lonely

If I had to be honest, today I am feeling very lonely. I haven't felt like this much since we've moved, usually it is just a fleeting moment of "oh man I miss (fill in the blank)...." But for some reason today it is weighing really heavy on me. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the city, it is a lot of fun. But I don't really know anyone, and that is hard for me. I hate doing things on my own, but I am also a very shy person and I have a hard time putting myself out there. I feel like I sometimes have a hard time connecting to people and making new friends. 

I use to be a very busy active person. For years I worked a full time job. Then once I stopped working full time, I started working part time for our church. With the 2-3 days of work and then other activities we did, I still stayed really busy. Even when school was out and we were on break I still had stuff to do. I am use to having weekly play dates and a pool I could go to whenever I wanted. This was great for me and Finley for getting out of the house regularly. Right now I don't have any of that, and I miss it. When Heidi and I joined BSF, I was really excited. I thought this would be a good chance for me to meet other moms with kids the same age as Finley. But the group wasn't super welcoming. No one really talked, not to just me, but to each other. Every week while we waited for group to start we would all just sit there and look at each other. I tried to talk to a few of the ladies, and they would talk back for a bit. But once the small group was over, everyone went their own ways. No one really reached out and the group felt really awkward while I was there. So I never really made any connections with any of the ladies. 

So now I am trying to fix how I am feeling about my loneliness. I have contacted a few MOM groups in the area and I am waiting to hear back from them. We will see what happens. I hope one is a good fit for me and Finley.

sorry for being such a downer today....